just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Holy sore nipples Batman
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
