just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
