Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Randomize
