Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
