I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I want her autograph on my taint
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
