I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
