idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
