I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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