i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
