grandma shit on top of the toilet
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
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