found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
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thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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