i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize