Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
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