is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
