also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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