This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
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