I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize