they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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