I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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