Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
