i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
