wat bout pragnant strippers??
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
