If i come over, it means nothing
I want to walk on stilts...naked
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize