Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
thus making me awesome and them whores
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
