If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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