If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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