What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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