Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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