I hate your face
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
