im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
