i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
