Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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