the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
