It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
