I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
