At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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