so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
