Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
