Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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