That's when you crack a 10am beer
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
