Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
