Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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