I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
