I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
