I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
