HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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