Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
