He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
nutella sex= disaster
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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