Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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