dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Randomize
