I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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