apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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