I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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