just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
