she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
