TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
