the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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