The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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