i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
